how much I miss Kathy Acker. Miss her being. I still aspire to be smart enough to be able to talk about her writing with her, even though she's not here to talk to anymore.
The funny thing is that it's my mother's fault that I fell into Kathy Acker's world. I remember being at the library with my mother when I was fourteen, and schlumping around the new books section with her. This is one of those memories that I wonder if I'm making up, because it just seems so atypical - a shared moment with my mother? At the library? But perhaps if I have made it up, it's even more telling. Curious. But I remember my mother browsing the new fiction section and pulling out a copy of 'Empire of the Senseless' and scanning the jacket. She passed it along to me, thinking I might like it. It blew my mind.
It's hard to say which book I would recommend a first-time reader of Acker. 'Don Quixote,' 'Empire of the Senseless,' and 'Blood and Guts in High School' come immediately to mind. A lot of critics blasted the last novel she published before she died, 'Pussy: King of the Pirates,' but they can all kiss my ass. 'Pussy' is much more playfully challenging than a lot of her other work. I didn't get it, either. But like all Acker's work, it touches something intuitive, real, sexy, and frightening.
In many ways, Kathy Acker was a very real mentor to me. She taught me how to think comprehensively. She, moreso than all the theorists I read in my studies, taught me how to unhinge the symbolic and take it apart. She was smarter than you and me (and you too) put together. I don't know why I was thinking of her tonight, but I really wanted to put these words out there in the world. Kathy, I miss you.
From Kathy:
'Language presupposes community. Therefore without you, nothing I say has any meaning. Without love or language, I do not exist. We who are freaks have only friendship."
Saturday, October 15, 2005
at long last, a list
it's suspicious to me that i've gone a long time without a list. but i leave that for another night of musings. behold the list at this moment of things that make me very happy, in no particular order:
cat power. good theater. good conversation. anticipation of travel. good derby practices. yummy cereal. knowing that friends are safe. space. noodles. melancholy music. falling leaves. the smell of fall. enchiladas. good sense. bitch magazine. super diamond. poison green. russell banks. marianne moore. hot chocolate and good pens. febreeze. being on the guest list. effortless sleep. mix tapes. comfy socks. swearing. daydreams. joss whedon. sleezy frickenhump. chips and salsa. writers more eloquent than me. halloween memories.
i have more than i need, surely, and fewer worries than many, many people in the world have. i am trying to learn how not to take that for granted.
cat power. good theater. good conversation. anticipation of travel. good derby practices. yummy cereal. knowing that friends are safe. space. noodles. melancholy music. falling leaves. the smell of fall. enchiladas. good sense. bitch magazine. super diamond. poison green. russell banks. marianne moore. hot chocolate and good pens. febreeze. being on the guest list. effortless sleep. mix tapes. comfy socks. swearing. daydreams. joss whedon. sleezy frickenhump. chips and salsa. writers more eloquent than me. halloween memories.
i have more than i need, surely, and fewer worries than many, many people in the world have. i am trying to learn how not to take that for granted.
Monday, October 03, 2005
I Heart Maria Bello!
Well hello, friends. I trekked down to the local multiplex to check out A History of Violence and was absolutely stunned. What a great, thoughtful film. I think people are always surprised whenever David Cronenberg makes a film that doesn't involve gooey parasites, oversized human genitals, or kinkalicious sex, but you've got to hand it to the guy: he makes damn good films.
I'll spare you the plot summary or the spoilers, but suffice to say that with few exceptions (notably the multiple, graphic gunshot- to-the-head images) this is a very understated film. It's a film about character, and issues, and characters with issues, so Cronenberg really stands back and allows the actors to WORK. It's a similar strategy he employed with the well-crafted film Spider, a intriguing study of mental illness, a few years back. I had the pleasure of seeing Cronenberg talk about the making of that film and while discussing the very subdued use of special effects in the film, he said, "What do I need special effects for? Miranda Richardson is the best special effect I could have asked for in the film." That's the way it is with Viggo Mortensen, and what a performance he gives. And he's surrounded by fine acting, as well - particularly Mario Bello and Ashton Holmes, who plays his teenage son. Ed Harris gives a suitably nefarious performance as a mob baddie, although I have to admit that I was initially a bit taken aback by William Hurt in this movie. He kind of looks like an overgrown leprechaun, but he someone almost emotes which is kind of a new benchmark for him as an actor.
Anyway, a lot has been and will be made of the themes of this movie - notably, violence and its relationship to identity, family, and the "American Dream." It's compelling stuff, but it's also a total ruse. After all, we get the meditation on these challenging issues only AFTER we get the the juicy violence. We get our cake and eat it too, so don't we feel morally superior without really questioning ourselves? But it's an earnest movie, and I appreciated it a lot. A great, gripping drama.
Oh, and I am really smitten with Maria Bello. She's a great actress who's been tossed a lot of thankless roles. She has a lot of grit. When she tells mobster Ed Harris that she'll fuck him up, you believe her. I've loved her ever since I saw her in Payback, and she brings a steely determinism mixed with vulnerability to every role. Watch her body of work and I think you'll agree with me that this is one actress who can really take a punch! Sometimes I still get her confused with Debra Kara Unger, though (they were both in Payback) but Unger has more of a bombed-out ethereal heroin-using quality to her. She's taken more than a few punches in films, too, but she usually ends up overdosing or dying in movies (notable exception: The Game - she kicked ass in the game).
Oh, I've decided the font size on this blog might be requiring many of you to get bifocals. What do you think of the bigger type?
At the movie theater, I treated myself to a soda, a Pibb Extra. I asked the guy at the concession stand what made it EXTRA and he told me he wasn't sure, but it still tasted like Mr. Pibb. It does, in fact, taste like regular Mr. Pibb. Anybody out there know what the difference is?
I'll spare you the plot summary or the spoilers, but suffice to say that with few exceptions (notably the multiple, graphic gunshot- to-the-head images) this is a very understated film. It's a film about character, and issues, and characters with issues, so Cronenberg really stands back and allows the actors to WORK. It's a similar strategy he employed with the well-crafted film Spider, a intriguing study of mental illness, a few years back. I had the pleasure of seeing Cronenberg talk about the making of that film and while discussing the very subdued use of special effects in the film, he said, "What do I need special effects for? Miranda Richardson is the best special effect I could have asked for in the film." That's the way it is with Viggo Mortensen, and what a performance he gives. And he's surrounded by fine acting, as well - particularly Mario Bello and Ashton Holmes, who plays his teenage son. Ed Harris gives a suitably nefarious performance as a mob baddie, although I have to admit that I was initially a bit taken aback by William Hurt in this movie. He kind of looks like an overgrown leprechaun, but he someone almost emotes which is kind of a new benchmark for him as an actor.
Anyway, a lot has been and will be made of the themes of this movie - notably, violence and its relationship to identity, family, and the "American Dream." It's compelling stuff, but it's also a total ruse. After all, we get the meditation on these challenging issues only AFTER we get the the juicy violence. We get our cake and eat it too, so don't we feel morally superior without really questioning ourselves? But it's an earnest movie, and I appreciated it a lot. A great, gripping drama.
Oh, and I am really smitten with Maria Bello. She's a great actress who's been tossed a lot of thankless roles. She has a lot of grit. When she tells mobster Ed Harris that she'll fuck him up, you believe her. I've loved her ever since I saw her in Payback, and she brings a steely determinism mixed with vulnerability to every role. Watch her body of work and I think you'll agree with me that this is one actress who can really take a punch! Sometimes I still get her confused with Debra Kara Unger, though (they were both in Payback) but Unger has more of a bombed-out ethereal heroin-using quality to her. She's taken more than a few punches in films, too, but she usually ends up overdosing or dying in movies (notable exception: The Game - she kicked ass in the game).
Oh, I've decided the font size on this blog might be requiring many of you to get bifocals. What do you think of the bigger type?
At the movie theater, I treated myself to a soda, a Pibb Extra. I asked the guy at the concession stand what made it EXTRA and he told me he wasn't sure, but it still tasted like Mr. Pibb. It does, in fact, taste like regular Mr. Pibb. Anybody out there know what the difference is?
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